You Know You’re from Texas When

Every year around this time of the year my kids learn at school what it means to be a Texan. Last Friday, March 2nd, was Texas Independence Day and that means that they got to learn all kinds of neat things about the Lone Star State such as the battle at the Alamo. One of the teachers even brings a stuffed armadillo to display in class. Yep, we start ‘em young here.

My boys can name the state flower, bird, tree, lizard, small mammal, large mammal, sport, gem, fossil, capitol and motto. I can annoy my Yankee husband with the state song. Mostly because I have more state pride than he does. And I can’t sing in tune.

Here’s a few things you should know about Texas if you ever visit us:

The state welcome sign when you first cross into Texas says “Drive Friendly, the Texas Way.” What they’re talking about are the way the country folk drive, not the city folk. Too many Yankees in the cities.
Anyone from north of the Red River is a Yankee.
All y’all is the plural form of y’all.
All y’all’s is the plural possessive form of y’all.
When the tornado sirens go off that’s your signal to run to your backyard and try to spot a funnel.
We have two seasons: Hot and hotter. (Although that ain’t true for two winters ago.)
There’s only one snow plow in the entire state and no one knows how to drive it (thanks Dane for that one).
Ain’t is a word.
In the summer, warm water runs out of both sides of the tap.
Texas is the South. Not the Southwest. I don’t see no adobe houses anywhere so get your regional maps straight.
West Texas is still not the Southwest. It’s West Texas.
Most of Texas does not look like a John Wayne movie.
You do want to eat cow fries. You don’t want to eat cow patties.
Someone’s always arguing about whether or not to put beans in the chili.
Those really big circular road bumps are called Texas Titties. My great-grandma told me so.
“Bless your heart” is a phrase that can be meant for good or bad. We won’t tell you which one.
It’s a puh-con, not a pee-can. A pee-can is something your pepaw peed in.
Pepaw and Memaw are terms for grandpa and grandma.
You know more about the State of Texas than the United States of America.