Letters from an Anonymous Friend are written by my old college roommate who’d rather keep her identity secret. Also, I’ve never been toilet papered nor have I ever toilet papered someone else’s house so it wasn’t me.
The darndest thing happened Saturday night. We got T-P-ed!
Don’t get me wrong, cleaning up someone else’s mess wasn’t exactly what I had planned for a Sunday morning, but somewhere in the back of my mind I just had to laugh.
As an 80s/90s kid who grew up on slumber parties and, yes, adventures in throwing toilet paper around other people’s property during late-night excursions, I had to laugh that someone had finally done it to me.
No offense taken. None whatsoever…
…until it dawned on me that whoever did it had to have gone through our backyard.
Now, I’ve got no problem with front yard mid-night decorating, but opening the side gate to go around back to the other side yard… Well, that’s another story altogether, one that really bothers me.
Whether my roommate and I were randomly chosen or targeted by some of our fun-loving-but-stupid-students, we don’t know.
Either which way, the endeavor was done only half-heartedly. How could we possibly know that? you wonder. Well, let’s review the evidence.
1) All of the toilet paper rolls used were not used in their entirety. We found ¼ – ½ toilet paper remaining on the roll. Really? If you’re going to toilet paper someone’s house, use the whole roll. Such a waste.
2) They targeted mostly the tree on the side of the house without a neighbor. There is, however, an 8 ft. stone wall separating the house from the street; so either they had a ladder or they went through the side gate on the other side of the house. Once there, they just chucked the toilet paper rolls into the trees a few times and took off. Again, very half-hearted.
3) There was a stretch of TP along the bushes and the still ¼ full roll had been chucked onto the roof of the patio. Nothing more was done to the back yard. Honestly, if you’re going on a mid-night escapade to decorate someone’s house, would you please do it all the way? Half-way just comes across as lame and very amateur.
Anyway, the perpetrators are still at large. Any information on the event would be much appreciated. Hope y’all sleep well tonight. :-)
